Aug 9, 2013

You don't want to make me mad.


Jul 11, 2013

Bacon Buddha

May 7, 2013

Earlier pitches.

From the circular files at the Oprah Winfrey Network...

1.)  iyanla fix my CARBURETOR.

2.)  iyanla fix my SCREENPLAY.

3.)  iyanla fix my WATER HEATER.

4.)  iyanla fix my HAIR.

5.)  iyanla fix my CREDIT SCORE.

6.)  iyanla fix my WI-FI CONNECTION.

7.)  iyanla fix my GOLF SWING.

Apr 19, 2013

Look what I got.

My beautiful man Peter made this for me. I turned 15 years sober today. I am rich beyond belief.

Apr 12, 2013

I just don't get it.

Led astray online today
My noodle's in a fuss
Techies say it's child's play?
Not so, this "Google plus."

Apr 11, 2013

Just let me know.

Which is the leading motorcar
with manners of a ninny?
I've narrowed down the list thus far to:
Bimmer, Prius, Mini.

For not a one seems any keen
on lane-change etiquette
(the turn signals on each machine
are optional, I bet).

Apr 10, 2013

Body Snatchers poem

If Kool-Aid is your drink of choice
And hungry souls you're targeting
Just raise your glass, and "salesman" voice:
To multi-level marketing!

Apr 9, 2013

L.A. poem

As dressing down becomes the norm
And no one looks askance
A loophole takes the streets by storm
They're sold as "yoga pants."


You hooked me in, an easy sell
With cunning and virility
But then you shot it all to Hell:
You said, "comfortability."

Love poem

If hatred is your cup of tea
and homophobic libel
The Joel Osteen ministry
okays it as "The Bible."